Family Love at a Distance

Retirement....the years you waste away.

"MY MOMMA SAID: 

"THE WORLD IS ONE LARGE FAMILY 
THAT NEVER VISITS OR GIVES A DAMN.” 

I THEN GENTLY KISSED HER FOREHEAD 
AND HAD HER PUT AWAY.”

Tommy Savitt. 

Love, Jesus.

"THE TOMMY LAMA'S DAILY MANTRA:

I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU BELIEVE, 

AS LONG AS YOU DO AS I SAY.”

Tommy Savitt.

Global Warming

"MANY ARE CONCERNED ABOUT RISING SEA LEVELS. 

INSTEAD, THEY SHOULD BE GRATEFUL 

THAT WE'LL FINALLY BE ABLE TO GET DECENT SEA FOOD IN NEBRASKA.”

Tommy Savitt.

Pillow Secks

"THE TOMMY LAMA'S MANTRA : 

WOMEN NEED TO ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY FOR THEIR OWN ORGASMS. 

WHEN MEN DON'T ORGASM, 
THEY DON'T BLAME THE PILLOW.”

Tommy Savitt.

Sexy Tests

"IT IS SAFE TO WATCH ON-LINE PORN 

ON A STRANGER'S COMPUTER AS LONG AS 

IT DOESN'T HAVE ANY VIRUSES OR TELLS YOU IT WAS RECENTLY TESTED.”

Tommy Savitt.

Taxes

"TOMMY LAMA'S MANTRA: 

HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE IS A DISEASE CREATED BY THE GOVERNMENT. 

NOTICE HOW YOUR BLOOD PRESSURE GOES UP EVERY APRIL 15th."

Tommy Savitt.

Charles Ponzi

"THE TOMMY LAMA'S AFFIRMATION OF THE DAY : 

A PENNY SAVED IS NEVER AS GOOD AS A QUARTER STOLEN. 

CHARLES PONZI.”

Tommy Savitt.